Words. They BUILD or TEAR DOWN. How do you talk to yourself, Mama?

You are worthless.Hey you!  YEAH YOU!  You know… the one with the BIG BUTT, THIN hair… CELLULITE… WRINKLES… flabby arms.  LISTEN TO ME!  I’m TALKING TO YOU!!!

You’re SO FAT!  You’re UGLY!!  You’re WEIRD.  You’ve made a TON of STUPID mistakes… You’ve said SO many wrong things.  You’ve lived in the DARKNESS.  You might as well have NEVER been born, because YOU – ARE – COMPLETELY – and UTTERLY — WORTHLESS!!!!

Sound familiar?

No… I don’t expect you to admit it to the masses.  But, Mama… you know you can be negative with yourself.  

You have this insatiable desire to be PERFECT… so ALL you see is FAILURE.  The things you DON’T do that you should.  The things you DID do that you shouldn’t have.  The person you WANT to be, but aren’t.

You’re so busy comparing your body… your life… to your neighbor… your friends on Facebook… celebrities… that it’s virtually IMPOSSIBLE to see the vision of beauty that you truly are.

Do you know WHY I know what you’re thinking?

Yeah… you got it.  It’s because I’VE BEEN THERE.

I’ve been in that dark place where hope was just a dream.  That place where I told myself about a million times a day how worthless I was.  How I was too fat.  How I was ugly.  How I was totally and completely unloveable. 

I’ve lived in that place where FEAR reigned and my heart was held captive.  There’s only ONE word to really describe where I was… I was TRAPPED.

Well, I’m here to tell you something… YOU’RE NOT ALONE!  It may SEEM like there is no out.  Like you’re STUCK.  But that’s just darkness whispering more lies.

Mama… YOU were MADE FOR MORE.  You were BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY made.  The size of your body is not what matters.  It’s the size of your HEART that you will be measured by.

You want out of that trap???

Then start by making a decision.  The decision that it’s time to change something.  “If you WANT something different, you have to DO something different.”

And no… you WON’T feel like it… that’s for darn sure.  And you might even be afraid to actually DO something different…  “What if I don’t like it?  What will I have to sacrifice to get there?  What if I fail?”

That’s a LOT of “what ifs.”  How about… instead of saying… “What if?” and finishing that sentence with something negative… Let’s try giving the sentence a new twist…

“What if I gain confidence?  What if I start to LOVE myself again?  What if I SUCCEED?”

Girl… “You’ve got to accentuate the positive… eliminate the negative… hold on to the affirmative, and don’t mess with Mr. In-Between.”

In other words… You START by letting go of those negative thoughts that tell you you’re trapped and there’s no way out, then you simply tell yourself… “I CAN!”

No… change isn’t easy, but it’s totally doable.  YES, those fears will be there… but if you just dig deep… and reach for that WHY… you can make it happen… Just DO IT.  Or as I like to say… Get ‘er DONE!

Take a good look at my friend, Mary…  She’s been battling depression…. going through a divorce.  Taking care of her kiddos all by herself… no help.  She has really been struggling… and her lifestyle didn’t help much either.  Mary was depressed and stressed, so she would turn to eating comfort foods to make herself feel better.

Unfortunately, the fix was only temporary.  Mary ended up gaining weight and began heading in a downward spiral.

Can you see how this could facilitate all that negative talk?

Knowing that Mary was struggling and realizing how hard it is when you feel your life is unraveling before you… I encouraged her to DIG DEEP.  To grasp hold of WHY she needed a change, and WHY she really needed to start taking care of herself.

You know what?  SHE DID IT!  The other day Mary sent me this private message…

“So excited!  Feeling like myself again!  Feeling so much happier and healthier. It’s amazing what a healthy lifestyle can do for my psyche.”

So what changed?

LIGHT.  Mary found the light.  But in order to get there… she had start thinking positive… step out of the darkness, dig deep… and walk in faith.

So now I’m asking YOU, Mama.  You too were MADE for MORE.  Are you ready to take that first step?  It might be a little scary… but just reach out… don’t do it on your own.

You CAN do it!  I believe in you…

Share with me…
What are some of the things you tell yourself EVERY day?   How do you switch from having those negative interior conversations to lifting yourself up?

2 thoughts on “Words. They BUILD or TEAR DOWN. How do you talk to yourself, Mama?

  1. Belinda

    Some of mine are, “There’s not point. The kids will just mess it up. You’re going to run out of time or patience. You’re going to screw it up somehow, so why waste the energy.” Because OF COURSE it doesn’t happen if you don’t try. I’m trying to replace that talk with things like, “Progress not perfection. You are what you consistently do–so do good.” And then there’s the old standby, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Trying to break that negative talk habit.

    1. michelle@hillaert.com Post author

      Love that :))) It’s amazing how hard we are on ourselves as opposed to others. I know I’m quick to make an excuse for someone else or to accept their imperfections, but as soon as it comes to me… can’t get away with anything… Working on it :))) Thanks for sharing, mama :)


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