9 Things You Should NEVER Say To a Pregnant Mama

Are you pregnant? Have you ever BEEN pregnant? Do you have 3 or more kiddos? Do you KNOW someone who is pregnant?

Chances are that you’ve heard or said some of these things to a pregnant mom without really knowing how it could affect her. Now… truth be told… I personally don’t get offended easily in these situations… not unless someone is being purposefully rude… of course. Being prego with #6, I’ve pretty much heard it all, and just let it go in one ear and out the other.

HOWEVER… I thought it would be FUN to write up the questions that I have heard over and over during pregnancy. I polled my Facebook friends, and I’m wondering just how many moms have heard some of these same things before?

Please share your own experience in the comments!

9 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Mama

1. “Was this planned?”

If you’re a best friend, well…maybe you can get away with this one, but if not… this is TOTALLY none of your beeswax, as my older sister, Katie, always used to say.

Planned or unplanned, it doesn’t really matter. Fact is… I’m pregnant. It’s that simple. A baby is coming, and it’s time to START planning for the exiting new arrival.

Maybe instead, you can PLAN  a baby shower in a few months… How about that? :P

2. “You know how that happens… right?”

IMG_5984Um… no. I have no clue! This is the sixth time this has happened to me… can you please, PLEASE explain HOW???

In all honesty, I always actually LOVE to have fun with this one. And YES!!! People say this to me all the time!!! My response is pretty simple…

“Of course, I know how this happens!!! WINE! You better stay away from it!”

Believe it or not… I usually get a good grin or a laugh in response. It’s a great way to make light of a situation that could easily be seen as or even purposefully meant to be rude. I’ve been able to turn it around every time and everyone walks away with a smile.

3. “What are you having?”

dragon-408085__180Let me think for a second here… Um… I think I’m having an ALIEN! Yup! I think it’s an alien…. or a velociraptor… or a litter of something or another…

C’mon! I know it’s an easy slip, but we all know WHAT we’re having. What we DON’T know is if we’re having a boy or a girl. So, maybe a better way to ask would be… “Do you know the baby’s gender?” or “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

4. “By the way you’re carrying, it looks like a…” as you walk over and put your hands on our swollen bellies

woman-163608_640Seriously… how would you feel if I just walked up to you and put my hands on your stomach? Talk about AWK-WARD!

Even though our stomachs are WAY out there… Remember that we still feel the SAME way about others randomly walking up and touching our body now as we did BEFORE we became pregnant.

We do understand the desire to rub the belly, however it really is a personal space issue, so please don’t take it personally when we prefer you don’t touch.

5. “You’re getting so big!”

Um… I think the consequence to saying this to a pregnant woman will have a judge and jury allowing for a “temporary insanity” plea. We KNOW we’re getting big, and we know EVERY area of our body seems to be swelling right along with it. So PLEASE don’t give us a public reminder?

Perhaps the alternative would be safer… “Your baby bump is SO cute! How far along are you now?”

6.  “You look like you’re ready to POP!”

MichelleH_maternity046Yes. We get it. We feel it. We know it. We waddle it. Please don’t remind us even more! Instead, just ask us how we’re feeling. Better yet, ask us if we need anything. If you REALLY want to make a prego mom’s day… give us a gift certificate to get a spa treatment! We LOVE those!

Please, though… Please don’t state the obvious. Although we might admittedly look and feel like one, we’re not an overripe piece of fruit.

7. “Are you STILL pregnant?”

Um NO! I just swallowed a watermelon whole cuz it was easier than chewing. In the words of one of my favorite comedians… Bill Engvall… “Here’s your sign.”

Of COURSE I’m still pregnant.!!! Do you have to remind me? I wake up EVERY two minutes of EVERY night wondering if ANY ache or pain was a contraction… no… HOPING that any ache or pain was a contraction, because I’m DYING to have this baby and claim my own body again!!!

Perhaps a better question would be… “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” The words “How can I help?” go a LONG way with a overly tired very pregnant mom… ESPECIALLY when she has other kiddos.

8. “So, are you going to get fixed after this one?”

IMG_5220Get fixed? REALLY? I didn’t realize I was broken.

I find it funny that as soon as we get pregnant, our personal lives easily become a public stage for private conversations.

Best advice here is this… unless you’re a best friend or close family member and you have a VERY close relationship with the person you’re talking to… I’d steer clear of any private or personal questions. If you generally wouldn’t say it to us when we’re NOT pregnant… then maybe… just maybe you should think twice when we are.

Pregnant or not pregnant, manners are manners and rude is rude, so please think before asking a question like this.

9. “WOW! You’re going to have your hands full!”

MichelleH_maternity012BOY do I have the BEST answer for this one. I’ve had it for YEARS, thanks to my awesome hubs. When someone comes up to me and says… “You have your hands full!” I always respond with a big smile and say… “And my heart too.”

Again… never an awkward moment with this response, because it’s the truth. Every one of my children bring me joy. Their amazing little personalities… the way the grab life… the way they love… my heart is FULL.

And yes! Just in case you’re wondering… planned or unplanned… there’s always always room in my heart for more :)

Remember that when pregnant, a woman’s emotions are often heightened due to the extreme hormonal changes her body is going through. So please think twice and be considerate before saying anything that might cause some sort of response fueled by temporary insanity.

Because you know… we LOVE to have support, and we need to hear those positive comments. So do us a huge favor, and PLEASE… keep ’em comin’.

Oh… and if you DO happen to offend a prego mama by accidentally blurting out one of the above statements or questions? You can always say your sorry and pay for her next mani pedi. Heaven knows… mama could ALWAYS use a break!

Do you have some awkward things that people have asked, said or done while you or a friend was prego? Please share share it with me!

*** Maternity picture credit goes to Stacy Lincoln. ***


2 thoughts on “9 Things You Should NEVER Say To a Pregnant Mama

  1. ashley

    I Had a lady ask my due date. It was January when she asked me and I told her my due date of March 15th. She then replied, “of this year?” I so badly wanted to reply “no next year, I have a gestationa period of an elephant…”

    1. michelle@hillaert.com Post author

      Oh my goodness!!!! It’s surprising the questions people ask! I think a lot of people just don’t realize how what they say can affect us. It’s like the mindset really changes when in front of a prego mom.

      I think outside of pregnancy, one of the worst things that can be said to a woman is… “When are you due?” or “Congratulations on the baby!” and them NOT be pregnant…


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